I was thinking the other day about the miscommunication that occurs between husbands and wives when it comes to lovemaking. This analogy came to me. See if it works for you.
The husband is like the ice cream man at an ice cream parlor. His greatest satisfaction comes when he serves his wife a flavor and she loves it and asks for more. It doesn’t get better than that! He has various flavors that he knows his wife likes. When she walks in, these are his “go to” flavors because he knows he has the best chance of pleasing her. Now understand, he has many flavors that he has suggested to his wife, but she refuses to taste them because they don’t “sound” good to her. He has flavors he knows he can never even suggest to her because she has indicated her preferences and the flavors are not on her list.
We men love to get loved, but it depends on how she is approaching him. Ryan
The system works well most of the time. She comes in, he knows what flavors she likes, he offers her one, she greatly enjoys it and everyone is happy. But there are times when he chooses the wrong flavor that day and she doesn’t seem to enjoy it that much. He is crushed and vows to himself to choose better next time. When it happens again the next time he feels lost. The balance has changed. He doesn’t know what flavor she wants anymore. So, he does what any normal husband would do. 
He asks her what flavor she would like to have today. It’s a simple communication tool: ask a question, get an answer, move on. But it doesn’t work that way. She responds with words that are simple and easy for her to say but are devastating to our ice cream man. She says, “I don’t care”.
She thinks she turning the decision over to him. But that’s not what it feels like. To him, it feels like she’s saying, “I’m tired of the flavors you have and nothing sounds good to me, so you decide. I’ll just live with what you choose and make the best of it.” She may even think this is a kind thing to do for the ice cream man. After all, he gets to choose what flavor he gives her. What could be better than that?
What the wife doesn’t understand is that the ice cream man gets his greatest satisfaction from serving her a flavor that she devours with great enjoyment and really wants more of. His satisfaction is not in the serving of the ice cream. His greatest joy and satisfaction comes when she likes the flavor and wants more. The ice cream man doesn’t care what flavor the wife chooses because his joy doesn’t come from the flavor choice, it comes from her enjoyment of the flavor. By not having an opinion about what flavor she wants, by not wanting a flavor bad enough to say it when asked, just says I’m ambivalent about this whole activity and it doesn’t matter to me. When the wife mistakenly thinks turning the decision over to the ice cream man is a loving thing to do, we end up with an unhappy customer and an ice cream man that has no idea what his customer wants or needs.
Enough ice cream analogy. Wives, your husbands’ greatest turn on and satisfaction comes when he knows he’s given you a lovemaking session that blew your mind. You may think it doesn’t matter to him as long as he has an orgasm. You’re wrong. If you “check out” on participating with him and decide today I just want to give him an orgasm, it feels like your servicing him. That is not lovemaking. His greatest desire is to do it “right”. He wants to know he made you crazy. So if he asks what would you like me to do to you today, what flavor do you want, tell him. Be prepared to have the room get so hot that it will melt ice cream everywhere in a ten-mile radius! If you’re not interested at this time, tell him. Anything is better than saying “I don’t care”. He wants to feel confident in knowing what your favorite “flavors” are. Tell him.
Not only love it. We will enjoy it. I am not yet married but I definitely like it when a woman makes her move first. It kind of turns me on and which lead to a better sex. Paul.
Caution! Men are highly susceptible to classical conditioning. If you tell him what you want and it goes well for you, he will want to do it that way every time. If he tries another “flavor” and it starts to go badly, he will revert back to the ice cream melting session and try to reproduce it. It’s just the way men are. Walk him through this in a loving way and he will adapt and become a better lover.
Trust me, he has some flavors you’ve never tried. Every so often, tell him to serve you one.
Source: Quora.com
