Women experience pleasure first psychologically and Then physically, while for men, sexual pleasure is straightforward: Friction + Time = Orgasm.
For women, it’s not so simple. A man can do everything right physically. All of the right positions. Touch her in just the right way. Hit all the right spots.
But if her mind isn’t stimulated, making her feel the experience, it won’t be the one-way train to pleasure town.
I’ve interviewed dozens of women on what makes a man a great lover, and every single one of them said that a great lover focuses first and foremost on the psychology of the experience.
And this can mean a lot of different things… Sometimes, it could mean that he makes her feel loved, beautiful, and appreciated by speaking words of encouragement, saying “I love you”, taking his time exploring her body, and falling fully into the present moment.
Other times, it could mean that he makes her feel naughty and “bad” by engaging in light BDSM, dirty talk, rough sex, and primal behaviors.
Other times still, it could be a mix of both where one moment she’s sleeping with a tender loving gentleman and the next, she’s in bed with a fucking insatiable caveman.
On a practical level, this means a few things:
- Slow Down OR Go Crazy. Before penetration, you should take the time to stimulate your woman’s mind and body by exploring her and teasing her. Creating a sense of anticipation and build up. This could mean massaging her body while avoiding her genitals until she is literally begging you to touch her. Sometimes, however, you want to do the exact opposite.
- Get into the experience. One of women’s top complaints about men is that they don’t make enough noise in the bedroom. Seriously…Make noises, grunt, sigh, yell, tell her exactly how you’re feeling and how she is making you feel.
- Use Dirty Talk…a lot of It. During foreplay, talk about all of the things that you want to do to her later. Tell her exactly how you’re going to touch her body, what you’re going to do to her, and how you’re going to make her feel. During sex…most women love dirty talk.
- Hold Eye Contact. Simple, but effective. Look into her eyes during sex and foreplay and she’ll be far more turned on than if your eyes are closed.
- Mix It Up. Inside of an individual experience, you want to mix it up. Don’t be just a gentle lover or just dominating or wild man. Be all. Be gentle. Be soft. Be loving one moment, then be wild, insatiable and uncontrollable the next. This will keep her guessing and allow her to experience the full gamut of sexual and psychological pleasure inside of one session.