Before one more person says I hate men, know I love men. I root for men. And when it comes to dealing with women, I’m definitely on men’s side. But, for fucking I like my men manly.
The followinng are the qualities I look for in a man, among many others.
1. Don’t pretend that chivalry is dead. Not all women are feminists and some of us still appreciate men who treat women differently than men. To me, this means I’m not going to bitch at you for holding open a door, supporting my arm, or offering to let me under your umbrella. I’m not saying I expect it, I’m just saying me, and a lot of other women, appreciate it. And it can up your appeal a few notches.
2. Real men don’t whine about being men. Now, for those of you don’t know me, you should understand that I love men and I really feel for men in today’s era. It’s the first time in American history where they’re hated simply for being born with a penis. It sucks. But, please, don’t bitch about it, especially in public arenas. It’s… well… unmanly.
3. Treat women with respect, even when they don’t necessarily deserve it. That means knowing when to walk away from a batshit crazy woman who’s throwing insults, as well as helping the single mom of three with getting the grocery cart to her car. It means not calling her a cunt just because she is one and calling your mom at least once a week. It means restraining her if she’s hitting you, not punching her in the face.
4. Have hobbies other than gaming. I’m not saying gaming’s not cool, but I am saying if you’re only hobby involves a joystick and avatars, you’re not a man, you’re a teenager. So start reading, pick up an instrument, or learn to play a sport and engage with face to face with real people in the real world, too.
5. Be able to cook a kickass meal. It’s important. You don’t have to be a chef, but know how to make at least one good meal. It doesn’t need to be fancy, a good sloppy joe is perfectly fine, but be able to cook up something and make sure it’s damn good.
6. Learn the art of seduction. When a guy is good at seduction, mmm-hum, can he make a woman melt. From knowing what words to say and when to say them to putting his hands in all the right places, when a guy is good at seduction, women swoon. It’s definitely a skill worth learning.
7. Real men know how to take care of their shit. Their houses. Their cars. Their toys. And their women. They can change a tire. Fix the hot water heater. And make their women cum like banshees. If he doesn’t know how, he’s at least trying to figure it out because he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty.
8. But they help around the house, too. Real men aren’t afraid to pitch in around the house, whether that means doing a load of dishes or folding some laundry. And the men who do help out (hopefully) know that they’re more likely to get laid.
9. Know how to be a gentleman. In all aspects… Including not fucking the drunk girl, not getting so sloshed at your friend’s wedding that you piss on the flowers at the country club. It means holding doors and saying thank you. Being the bigger person and knowing when to walk away and when to throw a punch. It’s knowing when a chaste kiss on the cheek is appropriate and not being afraid to push her against the wall and ravish her. It means being in control when you need to be and fun when you can be. It’s being a responsible man, knowing a no is a no and always keeping condoms in your bedside stand. Your glovebox. And wallet. And maybe in the living room too.
10. Real men fuck to get her off, not to blow their own load. I’m not saying men shouldn’t get off, at all, but don’t fuck with that as your goal. Make sure she enjoys the ride too, and preferably reaches her peak before you do. Then maybe you can hit it together again. But don’t give her the pleasure she’s seeking and soon, she’s either not going to give it up or she’ll play the dead fish that so many women before her have played. This involves (if you fuck girls) knowing where a clitoris is, knowing the real way to lick pussy, and learning to read the ques of her body, because, let’s face it, women can be confusing and not always upfront about things.