I was newly divorced, at home alone on a Wednesday night. I was washing the dishes from my daughters favorite dinner, chicken Alfredo. My arms were elbow deep in the warm, bubbly water when the door bell rang.
I glanced at the clock on the wall as I dried my hands on a cranberry colored dish towel. It was a quarter to nine, my daughter was already in bed for the night. I opened the door and jumped back as the mid February night air nipped my nose.
There, in the door, stood my handsome neighbor, clutching a bottle of wine in his hands.
I motioned him inside and shut the door behind him.
‘I’m sorry our first meeting was so rushed,’ he apologized. ‘I brought you this wine to welcome you to the neighborhood!’ He handed me the bottle. It was a white wine, I forget the exact name.
‘Thank you!’ I gushed. I reached up to touch my hair, which thankfully was brushed and straightened. I looked much nicer than I did the first time we had met, several weeks prior.
‘Care to join me for a glass?’ I invited.
He followed me into the kitchen, as I popped the cork and poured two glasses.
‘I’m sorry…I’m not much of a wine person,’ he confessed, removing his hat from his head and placing it on the counter.
‘Well, you have to help me toast!’ I said, and handed him a glass.
‘Here’s to new beginnings! And new friends…’ I said. We clinked our glasses together and drank. He drew back from his glass and smiled, his dark eyes crinkling in the corners. ‘This tastes better than I thought it would!’
We stood in the kitchen and drank the rest of the wine. We visited for several hours, and I found myself absolutely entranced with the rich baritone of his voice, the gracefulness of his movements, the easy way he joked and laughed with me.
Something overcame us close to midnight, as we realized the bottle was empty. Heads buzzing, our hearts were happy and my world spun as he went in for a hug.
Lord, that man felt wonderful against me. But I couldn’t begin to guess what he would do next.
He looked deep into my eyes, raised my chin just the littlest bit and kissed me. Slowly and beautifully.
The whole world stopped.
I was a bit saddened when he drew away. But he winked at me, told me he would see me around and left.
The story isn’t over yet, so I can’t exactly end it. Anyways, I digress…
The neighbor and I became…ahem…intimate the next time we met up. He led me to believe that we were getting serious, and then, when I asked for clarification as to what we were, he stated that he just wanted to be friends.
Another girl had broken his heart long ago, and he never really recovered. (Thanks a lot, Amanda! Grr)
I have spent the last four years building an intimate and close friendship with him. This man is almost a part of me at this point. But something continues to hold him back and he just can’t bring himself to commit to me.
I’m at a crossroads with him now. I hate to let him go, but I want a family, a future. He doesn’t.
It’s a hell of a situation to be in.